


got an angel sleepin in my pocket

by whiskerprince



Category: Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Accidental Boners, Feelings Panic, M/M, Making Out, Mutual Masturbation, Produce X 101, Shower Sex, Verbal Sparring, everything is ultimately kookheon's fault, set during some random point of the show's duration, suhwan's life is suffering (also predictably), yuvin (predictably) cannot shut up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:55:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22428187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiskerprince/pseuds/whiskerprince
Summary: Yuvin and Suhwan shower together and it goes not exactly according to plan.
Relationships: Choi Suhwan/Song Yuvin
Comments: 18
Kudos: 75





	got an angel sleepin in my pocket

**Author's Note:**

> writes a 7000 word suvin fic long after everyone has stopped caring about suvin. guess that just means it's my city now.

" _Hyung!_ "

Yuvin fumbles with the bar of soap, catches it, lets it slip out of his hands, then catches it again by slapping it flat against his body. He lets out a long exhale that can't be heard over the hiss of the shower and takes a moment to recover. Yes, sure, someone calling ' _hyung!_ ' across the room—followed by a shout of ' _yeah?_ ' back—is probably the most common exchange in the training center, and no, Yuvin doesn't have a problem with one of his many dongsaengs summoning him for a tone check. He's a helpful guy. Really loves to help. Just maybe not, like, while he's in the shower?

There's a pause, and then a moment later: " _I'm coming in_."

"Wait! Wait, wait, wait," Yuvin calls back, throwing the bar of soap at the soap dish—it slips out and tumbles to the floor—before patting his hands up and down his thighs and abdomen to—what? Cover himself up? He's in the shower, for god's sake. What kind of nerve— "Who is it?"

" _Choi Suhwan_."

Yuvin opens his mouth but no response comes out. It's Choi Suhwan? Okay. But... "Suhwan-ah? Aren't you rooming down the hall?"

" _Yeah_ ," Suhwan confirms. " _But Sihoon-hyung screamed at me when I tried to walk in on him. I want to shower_."

Yuvin blinks. The shower faucet hisses temperamentally and he turns it off, still dumbfounded by Choi Suhwan, standing on the other side of his bathroom door, where he has no business being. Doubtlessly surrounded by Yuvin's roommates, also sweaty and grimy and wanting to take a shower. Watching this exchange go down in the narrow hallway that leads to their bunk beds. He'd be shocked by Suhwan's nerve if Suhwan were anyone else. "How the hell did you even get in here?"

There's an impatient huff on the other side of the door. " _Kookheon-hyung let me in_."

Unsurprising. Yuvin can envision Kookheon peeking over the top bunk with glinting eyes.

" _Can I come in or what?_ "

Yuvin is flabbergasted. "I'm naked?"

" _So? We're all men, aren't we?_ "

A voice that is definitely Baekjin snickers, " _Smaller chilies are spicier_." Yuvin would like to wrestle Baekjin into a headlock for using the nickname Yuvin gave Suhwan against him, but he's one, still naked; two, a limp noodle in comparison to Baekjin; and three, beaten to the literal punch. Baekjin yelps as Suhwan, presumably, makes him eat his words.

" _Man up, hyung_ ," Suhwan says. " _I'm coming in_."

"Why couldn't you have told _Sihoon_ to ma—"

Suhwan throws the door open and Yuvin squeaks, shuffling ineffectually towards the showerhead and turning away before realizing that he's showing Suhwan his ass. Nice one, genius.

Suhwan isn't looking at him anyway. He closes the door and then tosses his towel onto the lid of the toilet, his hair product in the sink, and wipes a hole in the condensation on the mirror with the sleeve of his sweatshirt, leaning over the vanity to peer at his face. Yuvin watches Suhwan over his shoulder, his hair flat against his head and dripping cold water down his back and onto his shoulders. Finally, Suhwan looks over at him. Yuvin flinches involuntarily, resisting the urge to whine.

"You don't have to wait for me, you know," Suhwan says slowly, like Yuvin is the weird one.

"I wasn't—" Yuvin flounders. "I wasn't waiting for you, I was just—ugh." He turns the shower back on and gets blasted in the face for his efforts.

Sulking, Yuvin continues washing up, rubbing soap over his body with grim focus and looking anywhere but to his left, where Suhwan has finished examining himself in the mirror and is pulling off clothes and tossing them haphazardly onto the vanity. Yuvin pulls the showerhead down and rinses his body off, taking comfort in the distraction of the water pressure pelting his skin red.

The shower door opens and Yuvin jumps. "You better not be one of those guys who use bar soap to wash their hair," Suhwan says.

Yuvin sprays Suhwan with water without looking over his shoulder and takes pride in the undignified yelp he earns, even if in the process he gets water on the bathroom floor.

"There's nothing wrong with using bar soap in your hair," Yuvin sniffs. "It's all soap, isn't it?"

Cold fingers press against the bottom of his shoulder blades, pushing him further into the shower. "That's what retiree dads say to justify their cheapness when it comes to basic hygiene," Suhwan scoffs. Yuvin hears the door close behind him. "Pass me the water?"

Yuvin wordlessly passes the showerhead behind him, then squeezes out some of his foaming cleanser and closes his eyes to rub it over his face. He has to stay clean and acne-free for the duration of the program, after all. Can't have any unfortunate breakouts memorialized on national television. Totally not an excuse to keep his eyes closed now that Suhwan has joined him. More of a—a convenient side effect.

"Glad you're not a complete animal," Suhwan says.

"Are you watching me shower?" Yuvin asks. "Weirdo."

"Wow, and to think I was going to offer my beloved hyung some of my special shampoo."

"'Special shampoo' sounds dirty."

"Does it? I don't think I'm the weirdo here."

Yuvin flushes, but fortunately beneath a faceful of foam, there's no way Suhwan can tell. Yuvin lets out some noncommittal grumble. "Gimme the water."

"Turn around, you oaf," Suhwan says. "I'll wash it off."

"You'll blast me in the face!"

"I will not."

Feeling more naked and helpless than he had before washing his face, Yuvin reluctantly turns around to face Suhwan. Yuvin reaches an unsteady hand out and Suhwan takes it, placing it on his shoulder. True to his word, Suhwan does not spray Yuvin in the face. He leans forward and, holding up a hand to the stream, he lets the pressurized water hit his hand and fall in a gentler stream over Yuvin's face. Using his free hand, Yuvin scrubs off the remainder of the foam, shaking his head like a dog.

"Thanks," Suhwan says dryly, lowering the showerhead.

"Sorry," Yuvin says, wiping his eyes. "Thank you." He opens his eyes and manages to aim his gaze at Suhwan's chest. The words come out before he can think about them. "Oh, you're fit."

Suhwan rolls his eyes. "Yes, I know."

Yuvin wonders if he can make a noose for himself with the showerhead hose, but Suhwan doesn't look offended (or worse, skeeved out). "Just because I don't flaunt it doesn't mean I don't have the body for this business." He huffs but he's smiling a little in the corners of his mouth.

"Hold this," Suhwan says, handing Yuvin the showerhead and squatting to grab his own bottle. "You can use my product after me."

"I'm fine with the bar soap."

"Correction," Suhwan says, closing his eyes as he starts to lather the shampoo through his hair. "You are going to use my product after me because you have lovely, thick, undamaged hair that any idol with a scalp full of bleach would steal from you if they could. I'm not letting you throw that away."

Yuvin rolls his eyes, but Suhwan must hear the compliance in his answering silence, because he simply turns around expectantly once he's finished soaping up his hair. Yuvin rinses him off obediently.

"Your turn," Suhwan says, pouring some more shampoo in his hand.

"I really don't think—"

"You don't need to think anything, hyung. The shampoo is in my hand now. Are you going to let it go to waste, or are you going to lean down for me?"

"Wow, are you always this bossy? Or am I a special case?"

Suhwan tugs him down by the ear. "I'm only bossy if I care or if I think you're being an idiot."

"Gee, that clears everything up," Yuvin grumbles as Suhwan starts to work his fingers through Yuvin's hair. "Which one does that make me?"

"Hmm...I wonder."

Despite his protests, Yuvin can't complain too much about getting his hair washed like this. Suhwan is by no means gentle with him; he works his fingers down to the roots of Yuvin's hair, scratching at his scalp with stubby nails and roughly working the strands. If Yuvin doesn't keep tension in his neck, his head will get jerked around from the treatment. No one has washed his hair since his elementary school friends, and that was with dishsoap when they were making a bubble bath in the inflatable pool in his front yard. Even then, it was more of a how-well-can-we-construct-a-soap-mohawk-on-Yuvin's-head scrub than a you're-a-stubborn-bastard-so-I'm-going-to-give-you-a-rough-washing scrub. Yuvin wants to press his forehead into Suhwan's shoulder and melt into hot tar while Suhwan rubs his scalp.

Then Suhwan stops and Yuvin gets sprayed in the face.

Sputtering, he asks, "The hell was that for?"

"Rinse your hair," Suhwan says, reaching for the second bottle. "I can't."

_You mean you're too short_. Yuvin doesn't say it because he values his shins, but he's still smiling smugly into the spray. He makes sure to scrub his hair harder than usual too, but finds with great disappointment that it does not feel even close to as good as when Suhwan washed him. He must still be smiling when he finishes rinsing because Suhwan narrows his eyes at Yuvin when he looks up again.

"Do you have something to say to me?"

"Nope."

"I hope not. I have a handful of conditioner."

"I am aware."

"I don't have a problem with throwing it in your eyes, even if you're older than me."

"I don't doubt it."

"I'm not short."

"'Course not."

"And you're not that tall, for the record."

"No, boss."

"I'm rather manly, too, wouldn't you say?"

"Yes, boss."

Suhwan exhales loudly through his nose. He looks a little pink, but it could be the hot water. His lips are pressed into a pout.

"If it embarrasses you," Yuvin says, trying not to laugh, "then why do you keep playing along?"

"I am not _embarrassed_ ," Suhwan says. "Why'd you have to go and make it so cringy, anyway? You like being nagged that much?"

"I like when you're mean to me," Yuvin admits. Maybe too honest. He can't meet Suhwan's eyes, suddenly.

"Definitely the weirdo of the two of us," Suhwan mutters. He cups his hand around the back of Yuvin's neck and pulls him down again. Yuvin complies easily. "Can't tell if it's really 'cause you like being bossed around or you just think the attitude is cute coming from someone smaller than you."

"You said it, not me," Yuvin says.

"Maybe both?" Suhwan muses. "'Smaller chilies are spicier.'"

"Suits you," Yuvin says.

"Hmph."

Suhwan works Yuvin over again, a little brisker and rougher after the teasing. The smell of his conditioner is sharp and woody. Masculine. He had been playing a little, of course, but Yuvin did genuinely think Suhwan had a strong masculine charm to him. To an outsider, Suhwan seemed like he might be the cute type, if a little reserved. He had terrible resting bitch face in contrast to his smaller proportions and pretty fox eyes and round cheeks. To an insider, Suhwan was miles from both cute and reserved. In the training center he was loud, assertive, and had all-rounder talent to back up his attitude in every field. He bent for neither hyung nor taller trainee. He demanded respect from everyone around him and seemed unbothered that he had no company to back him up. And contrary to his proud persona, he melted into every group he became a part of with practiced ease.

There were more handsome and more fit trainees for sure, but no one had masculine charm quite like Suhwan.

Did Yuvin like that about him? Almost certainly. He liked the push of Suhwan's attitude and the pull of his affinity for skinship. Yuvin and Suhwan connected within hours of meeting each other and had yet to see their chemistry take a hit. Yuvin liked playing with Suhwan because he could say or do anything he wanted, knowing that if Suhwan was bothered by it, he would let Yuvin know instantly with a punch in the arm or a threatening glare. If he was small and easy to throw an arm around or pull into Yuvin's lap...that was just a bonus.

"Hyung?"

Yuvin shakes himself back into awareness. His forehead is fully pressed against Suhwan's shoulder and his forearm draped lazily across Suhwan's other shoulder. Yuvin swallows and his throat closes up.

"I can't move like this, so..."

"Sorry," Yuvin says, jerking away and flicking conditioner into his eye. "Shit! Ow, ow, ow..."

"You are such a buffoon," Suhwan sighs. He tugs Yuvin's chin and Yuvin follows, still whining. Suhwan thumbs away the excess conditioner and swipes at the corner of Yuvin's eye. He cups his free hand and fills it with water, then holds it up to Yuvin's face. "Open your eyes and blink a lot."

Yuvin does as bid and squawks when Suhwan splashes the water in his eye. "Ow! Are you trying to make it hurt worse?"

"No. Open your eyes. You're fine now."

Yuvin forces his bleary eyes open, tearing up a little but like Suhwan said, his eye is clear. He rubs at it miserably anyway.

"C'mere."

Yuvin blinks at Suhwan in disbelief, but he's still motioning Yuvin down. "But I—"

"But you what?" Suhwan rolls his eyes. "You started dozing off? You, a trainee on the most grueling survival show in Korea, started dozing off while getting a head massage? Oh, good heavens. Unacceptable."

"Yeah, yeah," Yuvin says, pinching the bridge of his nose and laughing a little. "Still embarrassing."

"You said it, not me."

Yuvin laughs harder at that, lowering his head in submission to let Suhwan finish working on him. It was a bit like a massage, wasn't it? And Yuvin was weak to things like massages, especially after twenty-hour days of nonstop practicing. It wasn't a crime to want to be touched like this. The combination of hot water and rough hands eased the tension he carried in his body. Honestly, he's the most relaxed in this moment than any other time since the show started. If Suhwan could work Yuvin's scalp this well, just imagine his hands on Yuvin's shoulders, or his back, or his calves...

Suhwan finds a knot in Yuvin's hair and pulls hard to get it free. Yuvin makes an absolutely unrepeatable, un-broadcast-able noise that he will deny to his grave. Suhwan pauses for long enough that Yuvin knows he heard it above the sound of running water. He prays for a swift and merciful death. What he gets instead is another experimental tug at his hair that makes his mouth fall open. He manages to choke out, "Suhwan-ah, that's not—"

"Understood," Suhwan says, letting him go immediately. He takes the showerhead from Yuvin and starts to rinse Yuvin's hair while he's still bent down. "Actually, you should let the conditioner sit for a little while, but hyung's being pathetic, so."

The word _pathetic_ twists like a dagger in Yuvin's gut. Suhwan called him _pathetic_. He's sure from Suhwan's tone of voice that Suhwan meant it in a weak-hyung-can't-handle-a-little-pain way, but his insides are taking it differently. He feels like half his body is dangling over the side of a canyon ledge, scrambling for purchase against loose gravel. He feels more unbalanced than when Suhwan threw the door to the bathroom open.

"You're a virgin?" Suhwan asks.

Yuvin's mind whites out. "Wh-what?"

"Your hair's virgin, right?" Suhwan repeats. "It's so healthy..."

Oh. Oh, god. Right. His hair. Suhwan is talking about his hair. "No, I—I just haven't bleached or dyed it in a while, so...I guess..."

Suhwan hums in reply.

Yuvin has no idea what his face looks like when Suhwan lets him go. Probably something mortifying that he'll never live down. He's going to spend every waking moment avoiding Suhwan, except that's not possible because they're on the same team together—in fact they have overlapping parts and choreography—so he can't even lurk in the corner of the practice room or across the stage from Suhwan. Maybe he can fake a cold, except they are singers so that is a _terrible_ idea, Yuvin what are you _thinking_ —

Suhwan hands him the showerhead. "I'm going to finish up now."

Right. Poor Suhwan has been so preoccupied with babying Yuvin that he didn't even have time to look after himself. Yuvin is a horrible teammate and a horrible friend. Suhwan tips his head back as he suds up his hair, baring his neck and letting a line of foam run down the length of it, gathering in the dip of his clavicle. Yuvin's eyes lock on that little pool of suds and in a manic burst of thought he imagines bathing in it, rolling in the smooth, soapy water falling from Suhwan's hair. Is he okay?

Masturbation was a luxury in tight dorms, but did he really have to hit critical mass of sexual frustration in an even tighter shower he was sharing with a trainee he respected and wanted to respect him?

Come to think of it, this was probably the underlying reason he had been resistant to sharing a shower with Suhwan in the first place.

And maybe more importantly, oh my god? _Suhwan_? Really? Since when?

_Well, maybe ever since you started going out of your way to include him in every self-cam chance you got_ , a voice inside his head that sounds suspiciously like Suhwan says. _Or maybe since you started insisting on hand-feeding him snacks. Or since you made it your personal task in life to be a comfy sofa for him to lean on. Or since that one time in the journal room where you were 'practicing aegyo,' which is pretty shitty code for flirting as hard as you can get away_ —

"Okay, you can give me the water now," Suhwan says.

"UH," Yuvin says, a little louder than necessary. "I'll do it." _Please don't look at me. Please don't open your eyes and see how constipated my willing-away-a-boner-look is._

Suhwan's pupils move beneath his eyelids, but he accepts the offer with a shrug and tips his head forward.

Yuvin clumsily moves the spray over Suhwan's head with one hand and scrubs at his scalp with the other. His hand is big enough to cover a good third of Suhwan's head, which is about the only thing he has going for him. The conditioner makes his fingers slip and he ends up giving Suhwan awkward head scratches instead of properly washing his hair, but Suhwan tolerates his fumbling with patience. Suhwan's blond again for the next two weeks, but at the roots of his hair Yuvin can make out his dark, natural color coming through. The sight is strangely intimate, like the flash of a cat's soft underbelly as they roll over. Yuvin runs his thumb over the unbleached hair and even though Suhwan does not swat at him, it feels dangerous.

This was a mistake. Suhwan is relaxed and comfortable with Yuvin's hands on him, unaware of the internal struggle within his friend. Suhwan doesn't realize that turning his head, lips slightly parted, makes Yuvin's heart flip. Suhwan doesn't realize that pressing into Yuvin's hand, insistent on more scrubbing, only makes Yuvin's guts coil tighter and hotter. Suhwan passes off Yuvin's awkward manner as inexperience and not the thinly veiled attraction that has him miserably, miserably half-hard.

Yuvin has never seen Suhwan so willingly defenseless and pliant and he is just a man. He is just an animal. His body knows what he wants before his mind can catch up. Yuvin is caught in the limbo of desire and hesitation, of knowing _what_ he wants but not _why_ he wants him, when Suhwan opens his eyes, his chin still tucked into his chest. Yuvin watches Suhwan blink water from his eyelashes and look directly at him, and then he is free-falling into despair and humiliation.

Suhwan, to his credit, only widens his eyes slightly and stills. Yuvin shifts and looks anywhere but at Suhwan. There is just nowhere to hide.

Suhwan lets out a little breath. "Hyung..." he says softly.

"Don't," Yuvin says, tripping over his own tongue and clutching the showerhead to his chest. "Don't, it doesn't mean—mean anything, okay? You can just pretend you didn't see anything and I'll pretend and it'll be fine. You can do that, can't you Suhwannie? For me?"

"Hyung," Suhwan says again, this time reaching out to touch Yuvin's arm, but Yuvin curls away from his hand, knocking back against the shower dial and flipping it to cold. The shower spits angrily and then blasts freezing water at Yuvin's chest, making him gasp and drop the showerhead, stumble, then slam a hand against the shower wall to catch himself. He slams a hand against the wall, and unintentionally traps Suhwan between his chest and the tile behind him.

The showerhead splutters on the floor between them, forgotten.

Suhwan holds Yuvin's gaze, lips parted and eyes unblinking, his back flattened against the tile. Yuvin keeps his eyes on Suhwan's but only barely, his vision swimming with fearful tears and his limbs locked in place, shot through with adrenaline. Yuvin sees a thousand possibilities, a thousand words Suhwan could say to express his disgust and his discomfort. A yawning pit of despair opens in his stomach and he goes hurtling into it, standing over a head taller than Suhwan but feeling no mightier than a speck of dirt.

Suhwan takes a breath to speak and Yuvin can't bear it, he just can't bear to lose his friend like this. "Didn't mean it," Yuvin says in a tiny voice. "Was an accident, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

Suhwan reaches up between them and silences Yuvin with a couple gentle, reprimanding slaps to his cheek. "Stop talking."

Yuvin stops talking.

Suhwan sighs. "Can you stand properly?"

"Fuck," Yuvin blurts, but at Suhwan's sharp look, closes his mouth and straightens up, letting Suhwan peel himself off the wall. Suhwan crosses his arms over his chest. Yuvin grabs at one elbow and looks at Suhwan's ear, ashamed.

"It's because you babble nonstop when things go wrong that you dig yourself into these stupid holes," Suhwan says. He doesn't sound upset, though. "What I _wanted_ to say is that it's okay, hyung. Honestly, I'm the one who should be freaked out—you've been a trainee for way longer. It's not like this is the first time you've seen someone get hard over stupid shit."

Well, no. Of course not. But it's the first time in a long time _Yuvin_ has gotten his wires crossed over another trainee. And the first time he has really, really liked another trainee and maybe not just in a friendly way? Not that Suhwan has to know that, ever. "Still humiliating, dude."

"Yeah, well." Suhwan tightens his arms. "We're even, so."

Were they? Getting embarrassed by silly jokes wasn't exactly equivalent to popping a boner while getting your hair scrubbed. The hell did he—ah.

"Don't _look,_ " Suhwan snaps. But Yuvin has the impulse control of a pigeon. He looks at Suhwan's dick before his self-preservation instincts can kick in and he sees that Suhwan is hard, too.

"Oh," Yuvin squeaks out. He averts his eyes and faces Suhwan's scowl instead.

"What kind of guy just..." Suhwan trails off and drops his arms, sighing. "You know what? That's on me. I don't know what I expected you to do when I said...that." He stumbles over the last bit, blinking furiously and inspecting the shower door with great interest.

Yuvin feels like he's free-falling again. "Why..."

Suhwan's gaze snaps to his, eyes blazing. "Are you seriously asking me why I...?"

"Er," Yuvin says, shrinking back.

"You know how it is!" Suhwan snaps, flustered. "You didn't mean it either, right? It's just something that happens, right? There's no 'why.' It just—I just— _ugh_." He presses the heels of his palms into his eyes.

Yuvin exercises self-control for two seconds, then glances at Suhwan's dick again. _He's still..._ Yuvin's stomach flutters and he feels a dull throb between his legs. Anticipation rises in his throat and the thought that maybe he should hold back doesn't even cross his mind.

"Was it when we fell against the wall?" Yuvin asks. Suhwan makes a tiny, strangled noise in his throat. "Do you—"

"Why," Suhwan grits out, "does it matter?"

"Or, like, my hands—"

Suhwan lashes out like a panther, smacking his hand over Yuvin's mouth and forcing him back half a step. Yuvin's back touches the now cool metal of the shower dial. " _Shut up_ ," Suhwan hisses.

His lip curls. "Or do you want me to go around blabbing about how getting his hair pulled by a junior made Yuvin-hyung moan?"

And Yuvin had always known Suhwan could play dirty, but that was _dirty_. His throat bobs as he swallows, a shudder wracking his body from shoulder to thigh. Yuvin holds the image of Suhwan's mouth shaping the words _hair pulling_ and _Yuvin-hyung_ and _moan_ in his mind, helpless to the excitement fizzling under his skin. Suhwan could end him. Suhwan _would_ end him, if he was displeased enough.

But apparently Suhwan didn't understand the power he held over Yuvin, if his widening eyes were anything to go by. Yuvin hadn't even realized Suhwan's palm over his mouth was trembling. His heart tumbles in place, meeting Suhwan's surprised expression with one of his own.

"You..." Suhwan says softly. "Not an accident?"

And then, contrary to his earlier misgivings, Suhwan looks between them at Yuvin's dick. Yuvin groans in protest under Suhwan's hand on principle, but he doesn't have much moral high ground to make a fuss.

"Not an accident," Suhwan repeats. He looks back up at Yuvin and tilts his head. "You...me? Really?"

"What do you mean, 'really'?" Yuvin says, except with his mouth covered, it comes out as a bunch of mumbled nonsense. Suhwan removes his hand, the corner of his lips quirking.

"Thanks," Yuvin says dryly. "What do you expect me to say to that, anyway? 'Sorry'? It's not like I chose any of this!"

"No," Suhwan says. "Just...surprised."

"Yeah, makes two of us."

There's a pause, and then Suhwan says, smile sliding across his mouth, "So was it the hair pulling or talking down to you that did it, because I'm a little unclear on—"

Yuvin growls and takes a purposeful step forward this time, knocking Suhwan back against the shower wall. He doesn't miss the tiny, hiccuped gasp as Suhwan's hands fly up to press against his chest and hold him back. Yuvin presses against the hold experimentally and Suhwan's arms give slightly, his eyelids fluttering. "So it _was_ getting pressed against a wall," Yuvin says, allowing himself to sound as smug as he feels.

"No," Suhwan says softly. "It was seeing you hard and hoping it was because of me."

The admission knocks all the smugness from Yuvin's face. "Suhwannie..."

"I don't care if you make fun of me," Suhwan says. He sticks his chin out; his fingers dig harder into Yuvin's skin. "I did this to you. Even if you deny it to your grave, I'll know. A nobody trainee got Song Yuvin of Myteen turned on."

"You're not nobody."

"Not to you I'm not."

Suhwan is proud, fiercely so, and does not give ground easily. Yuvin recognizes the gift he is given when he leans in to nestle his mouth against Suhwan's and Suhwan opens up for him.

His lead is a necessary one—he'd talked a little about his ex-girlfriend with the other trainees a bit, as one of the few who had been in a relationship—but Yuvin knows Suhwan is a fast learner. He should enjoy being in control while it is being offered freely. In another moment and another time he would do this slowly and experimentally, with all the time in the world stretched before them, but as it stands they are in a dormitory shower with the voices of other trainees getting for bed behind the closed door of the bathroom. Yuvin does not waste time.

Yuvin sucks at Suhwan's lip, tugging, encouraging him to open his mouth, to let Yuvin lick into him. Suhwan kisses Yuvin back sweetly for a few precious moments before he understands what Yuvin is asking him to do. He tilts his head hesitantly and parts his lips. Yuvin meets him halfway, curling his tongue against Suhwan's and surprising a mewl out of him. He swallows the sound and feels the excited little exhales through Suhwan's nose as he seals their mouths together once again. Yuvin worries, briefly, that he's rushing Suhwan—honestly, he doesn't know how many people Suhwan has kissed before—but when he starts to lean away Suhwan chases him. Noses brushing, teeth catching on the tip of Yuvin's tongue. Pulling him back in.

Neither of them are that levelheaded but Suhwan kisses Yuvin with purpose—demanding nips at Yuvin's lips and his pink mouth open to swallow whatever Yuvin offers him. Pressing his tongue to the roof of Yuvin's mouth makes Yuvin shiver, so he keeps it there. Kissing Suhwan consumes Yuvin the way singing with Suhwan does and it's only his survival instincts and competitive drive that keep him from melting into Suhwan completely.

He presses further into Suhwan's space and feels through their proximity when the back of Suhwan's head touches the tile. Yuvin doesn't let Suhwan push back against him, using his height to keep Suhwan pinned and shivering underneath him. The pressure of hands against his chest disappears. Suhwan gives in with the slide of his hands upwards to cup the back of Yuvin's neck. Yuvin presses closer still, his hip touching Suhwan's.

Suhwan's fingers wind into his hair and tug down hard, catching Yuvin off guard. He lets out a truly pathetic whimper as Suhwan pulls Yuvin away from his mouth and against his neck instead. "Not fair," Yuvin grumbles.

"Don't flaunt your height," Suhwan warns him. "Just because you're bigger than me doesn't mean you call all the shots."

Yuvin retaliates by dragging his teeth across Suhwan's neck. The shudder that ripples down Suhwan's body is as satisfying as the sharp tug to his hair that makes Yuvin moan, louder this time, into the underside of Suhwan's jaw.

" _Shut up_ ," Suhwan hisses, sounding disheveled himself.

"You like our height difference," Yuvin whispers, giddy with affection and pleasure and genuine delight that he could affect Suhwan in this way. "You like that I'm bigger than you. You like it when I crowd you like that."

Suhwan casts his eyes to the ceiling. "I thought I told you to shut up?"

Yuvin rocks against Suhwan, just once, to see how his eyes bug out of his head and to hear him squeak, "You bastar—"

"It turns you on," Yuvin says, puffing excitedly. "I turn you on. Kissing you, biting you, touchi— _ow_." Suhwan digs a pointy elbow into Yuvin's side, eyes murderous, but Yuvin can't stop himself. "Wow, if we were anywhere else I'd suck you off, Suhwannie."

Suhwan pushes him back, this time with purpose, and Yuvin has a heart-stopping moment where he wonders if he's gone too far, misinterpreted something, before Suhwan crouches down. And then Yuvin's heart stops _again_ , because is—is Suhwan—is he _getting on his knees_ for Yuvin?

But no, instead Yuvin is sprayed in the face with cold water from the showerhead that Suhwan recovered. He sputters, pawing at his face.

"Hyung really has no filter whatsoever," Suhwan says with a sigh. "I wish I understood what I like about you so much."

Yuvin's heart soars anyway.

"Put this back," Suhwan orders. "We have to be quick."

_So they are_ — _they're really going to_ — _?_

" _Put it back_ ," Suhwan says firmly, and Yuvin decides not to say anything. This time. He turns around and fiddles with the temperature dial until it is comfortably warm and then reaches up to put the showerhead back. It's not exactly easy, what with getting sprayed in the face and the way the showerheads in these old dorm bathrooms have a tendency not to hook into their holders easily—

Warm hands slide over Yuvin's hips and his grip on the showerhead slips a little. Suhwan leaves his hands there, fingertips wrapped around the front of Yuvin's hips, while Yuvin tries very hard not to think about it and get the damn shower back in place. He finally jams it into place, tipping his head forward to let the stream run over the back of his neck and down his shoulders. Suhwan rests his cheek against Yuvin's back.

"That's a good boy," he says, and lets his right hand slide down to wrap around Yuvin's cock.

"Oh, fuck," Yuvin says, voice choked.

"I haven't even done anything, man," Suhwan says with a little laugh, fingers flexing around Yuvin's length to adjust his grip.

Yuvin wants to die a little inside, but he can't bring himself to say it's not the prospect of a handjob that's got him riled up, but a handjob _from Suhwan_. The detached, scholarly part of Yuvin's brain notes this development for later examination. _Interesting. So maybe it's not just a sex thing or just a friend thing._ But that's all he gets to reflect on as Suhwan takes the opportunity to twist his wrist and wrench Yuvin mentally off-balance.

" _Choi Suhwan_ ," Yuvin chokes out.

"That's my name, yes," Suhwan says. "Should I not?"

Should never stop, is more what Yuvin is thinking, but he manages, "No. That's...fine."

"A little better than fine," Suhwan says, twisting his wrist up and down Yuvin's cock once, then twice, then setting a languid, burning rhythm. Yuvin doesn't answer him in words, but Suhwan doesn't seem too bothered by that.

It's different, it's so different from what Yuvin is used to. Suhwan's hands are so much smaller than his; they fit around Yuvin's cock differently. He grips differently. Harder. With more purpose. Yuvin is so lazy when he jerks off—a dab of the lotion he uses on his elbows and then casual, loose stroking until he can finish himself off with a few seconds of quick pumping. Suhwan holds Yuvin's cock with the insistence that Yuvin be present. That Yuvin think about whose hand is giving him pleasure. Suhwan wants Yuvin to remember this moment.

Suhwan pumps Yuvin slowly but with none of the laziness Yuvin is accustomed to. Suhwan is slow because he wants to feel Yuvin's cock, softened a little by the splash of cold water, thicken again. Suhwan savors how Yuvin's body yearns for him and submits without a fight to his touch. He doesn't even realize he's pressed his forearms to the wall, head hanging between them, until Suhwan asks, "Do I really do it for you, hyung?" Suhwan stops moving his hand to grip the base of Yuvin's cock when he asks. Yuvin watches his fingers absentmindedly rub the underside while he waits for a reply.

It's all Yuvin can do to say: "Yeah. You really do."

Suhwan laughs into Yuvin's back and gives him a pleased flick of the wrist. He sets a decent pace with that firm grip Yuvin can't get his mind off of, as much as he tries. Yuvin tries not to think of Suhwan's small hand wrapped around Yuvin's not-as-small cock but it's hard when the image is right there, right under his nose. He can see how dark his head is. He knows he would not be this fast and easy if it were someone else, but this is Suhwan. Yuvin feels feverish with the thought that if Suhwan will touch him like this, then he can touch Suhwan like that, too. That Suhwan would maybe, some day, let Yuvin bruise his knees for Suhwan's sake. That he might do the same for Yuvin. And that maybe, if he is good to Suhwan, one day he might be able to have Suhwan under him.

Or—be under Suhwan?

The thought electrifies Yuvin. His skin feels hot and tight even with the rush of water down his back and he becomes acutely aware of where Suhwan touches him, bare skin to bare skin. He is not flat against Yuvin's back but brushes his thighs, his hips, his back, his shoulder blades; Yuvin realizes with a start that now it is Suhwan who is doing the crowding, and how unexpectedly into it Yuvin is. Suhwan's cock is hard against Yuvin's upper thigh and as if possessed, he pushes back against Suhwan's front.

Suhwan makes an inquisitive noise. He pauses in his strokes to shift in place behind Yuvin, pulling away momentarily only to center himself and slot his cock against the shallow dip of Yuvin's ass. He rocks forward once, experimentally. The heavy, unmistakable slide of Suhwan's length up against Yuvin's already too-hot skin destroys Yuvin's remaining sense of dignity.

"Please," he says, although it feels like the word is drawn out of him on a line; the urge to speak impossible to fight. "Please, please..."

"Please...what?" Suhwan's surprise is evident in the upturn of his question and the still-unmoving hand on Yuvin, but whether or not he meant it to sound sensual, Yuvin is too overwhelmed to discriminate. Suhwan makes another, higher pitched noise of surprise when Yuvin's cock throbs again in his hand.

"Really..." Suhwan's voice drops but there's an edge of excitement to it. He presses flush to Yuvin's back this time, trapping his own length between Yuvin's ass and his chest. "Really, anything I do is a turn on for hyung, is that it?"

"Suhwannie..."

Yuvin turns around in Suhwan's hold and Suhwan lets him go easily. The back of Yuvin's head catches the stream of water from the shower and finally he can see the pleased crinkle of Suhwan's eyes and the smile he is trying to fight down. Suhwan laughs once and ducks his head. "I like that," he says. "I kind of like that a lot?"

Yuvin tips Suhwan's chin up with a finger and Suhwan effortlessly meets him in a kiss, standing on his tiptoes just a little. They are gentle this time when they kiss, just the slide of lips over lips and the metallic taste of shower water between them, and Yuvin tries to say without words that he likes it too, he likes the way Suhwan treats him. Less gentle and not afraid. Excited beneath a reserved exterior. Suhwan is so manly and cool, even when giving Yuvin a damn handjob, and Yuvin likes that about him _so much_.

He decides to take a page from Suhwan's book and just shut up for once.

Yuvin's hand is bigger than Suhwan's and it's easy for him to take both of them in hand. Suhwan gasps against Yuvin's mouth then bites down on his lip to stifle it, and Yuvin likes that about him, too. He likes it when Suhwan covers his face in embarrassment not when he is touching but when he is being touched. He likes it that Suhwan caves to Yuvin's kissing and hides his face in Yuvin's chest instead, arms slung around his shoulders. Yuvin kisses Suhwan's temple over and over as he gets them off. It feels like telling a secret.

But he was already close and they're both too wound up to last. Chaste kisses melt into open-mouthed panting and licking at wet skin. Yuvin's grip gets loose and slippery. Suhwan covers Yuvin's hand with his own to steady him, but the touch is so unexpected and welcome that Yuvin comes right then and there. He jerks them both through his orgasm and it's not until he feels too shaky to continue that he cracks his eyes open to see Suhwan's wide eyes on his hand holding both them, slick and pearly with cum. He realizes Suhwan came, too.

"Th-that's a little dirty of you, isn't it?" Yuvin's voice cracks on the first syllable. He feels like he's been put through the spin cycle of a washer. "Hey, Suhwannie—you never did tell me if it was the size difference that did it for you. Or was it maybe my c—"

"Please for the love of god shut up," Suhwan says, slapping his hands back over his face.

Yuvin snickers but he's too boneless and sated to be mean to Suhwan. He turns and gently rinses them both off, seeing as Suhwan is attempting to surgically meld his hands to his face. Yuvin kind of deliriously wants to go again, but. Still sensitive. Dorm shower. Angry trainees. Embarrassed dongsaeng.

"Your dick is really cute," Yuvin says conversationally, and somehow this gets Suhwan to drop his hands if only to drop his head back against the wall and stare mournfully at the ceiling. "Sorry if that's like, emasculating or whatever, but I just like looking at it."

"Literally why do I like you," Suhwan says to the ceiling vent.

"I'm so sexy and vertically gifted," Yuvin says cheerfully. "And I like it when you're mean."

"I'm always mean," Suhwan deadpans.

"Hmm," Yuvin says, smile spreading across his face. "Then I guess I always like you."

Suhwan looks at him and despite his best efforts, starts smiling as well. "This is a horrible idea," he says.

"Yeah, we really should've let everyone else shower first."

"I meant—" Suhwan shakes his head, still smiling. " _This_."

Yuvin turns off the water, finally. "I've never had a horrible idea in my life."

"Hyung, _every_ idea you've ever had has been a horrible idea."

"Well, then _this_ can't really be that bad. I mean, all my so-called horrible ideas got me here, didn't they?"

"I think Produce is a universally horrible experience."

"I meant with you."

And now Yuvin can fully appreciate the flush rising in Suhwan's cheeks and the surprised part of his lips. He's only permitted a second to appreciate it, though, as Suhwan socks him hard in the side. " _Ow!_ "

"You're so stupid." Suhwan opens the door to the shower and steps out, Yuvin following behind.

"You say that, but all I hear is, 'Wow, when did you get to be such a smooth talker, hyung? I'm amazed that someone can be so cool and handsome and funny and also a great singer. Also I like you very much.'"

Suhwan throws Yuvin's towel at him. "Meeting you has been the greatest misfortune of my life."

Yuvin laughs easily and throws the towel over his head, scrubbing at his hair. He's fluffing the back of it dry when Suhwan's fingers wrap tentatively around his bicep. Yuvin pulls the towel down around his shoulders to see Suhwan pressed against his side, looking at his fingers on Yuvin's arm.

"I don't really think that," he says softly.

Yuvin tilts his head. "Think what?"

"That meeting you was a misfortune."

Yuvin smiles, heart squeezing. "Not even when I get main vocal?"

Suhwan shakes his head.

"Then don't say this is a horrible idea."

Suhwan looks up at him, eyes wide.

It's Yuvin's turn to go red. "Uh, 'cause I don't want it to be a horrible idea and I think it's actually a great idea…and we should do this again some time...or something..."

"You suck at being the mature one," Suhwan says, the corners of his lips quirking up.

"Ugh, I know," Yuvin says. "Don't make me do it again."

" _Oi!_ " Baekjin pounds on the door of the bathroom. " _Stop jerking each other off and get out of the shower!_ "

" _Or at least don't keep jerking each other off when we need to pee!_ " Kookheon adds with a holler.

"Just pee your pants like a man!" Yuvin hollers back.

And in unison, " _Fuck you!_ "

Yuvin offers Suhwan and exaggerated shrug and an eyeroll. "Hyungs," he says. "What're you gonna do about 'em?"

"Hm," Suhwan says, slipping his hand into Yuvin's with a real smile. "I wonder."


End file.
